When We Say (Juicebox)
by sexta-roronoa
Summary: [Two of Three-shots] Ichigo has defeated Aizen, now everyone can relax. The Vizards are just as happy as everyone else, until Kensei realizes that the love of his life was in front of him the entire time. Now it's a race against the clock to get to her and tell her how he truly feels after all these years of hiding. KENSEI'S POINT OF VIEW. [continue from Without You] Kensei x OC


**Author's Note:**

**Happy Late New Years Everyone! 2014 here we are!  
>Yes, I am months overdue of any of the storieschapters I've been promising! Sorry!  
>I was practically done this story, but this morning decided to rewrite it all, so hopefully this version is better!<br>So I am proud to announce the anticipated Part 2 of my 3-Shots featuring Kensei and my Oc!  
>One more shot left to that ending of mine.<strong>

**Once again, this is a Muguruma Kensei & OC Story (So if OC isn't your thing, please don't leave hate cause everyone has their own preference)  
>Anywho, this three shot is AJ Rafael inspired (each shot titled after a song of his)<br>This one being "When We Say (Juicebox)" where you can find the video here: watch?v=jUMe_1oL8tg  
>**Note anything that is Italicized is the lyrics from AJ's song**<strong>

**Hope you enjoy this 5.5K worded story & leave a review :)**

**- Pce Out!**

* * *

><p><strong>KENSEI'S POINT OF VIEW<strong>

"**There. She should be fine for the time being."**

Captain of the 4th division, Retsu Unohana, announced as she stood up.  
>She had just finished performing kidou on Hiyori after she was brutally sliced in battle.<p>

"**For the time being? You mean she might not make it?!"**

Came the voice of Lisa as she sat beside the unconscious blonde.  
>Lisa refrained from moving too much as she too was bandaged up pretty well after her fight with a member of Aizen's Espadas.<br>Unohana gave a sincere look towards her direction.

"**Kidou is only capable of the same things as medical treatment. I have completely restored her body composition,"**

Her gazed shifted to said person resting.

"**If she does not give up on living, then she should eventually open her eyes.  
>Whether she will give up or not, is something that you should all know better than I."<strong>

Unohana then looked around at each of us, before she turned and decided headed towards the direction of the building where the rest of the Gotei 13 were recovering.  
>I stared down at both my hands, as they were bandaged after kicking the ass of that child arrancar.<br>In fact, as I looked around at each of us, not one of us came out of that battle unharmed.  
>Shinji's thick skull was wrapped pretty tightly.<br>Love had his entire torso and arms covered in white.  
>Rose had his chest covered.<br>Hachi's head was wrapped in the same style as Shinji and had his right arm held in a sling.  
>Both Lisa and Hiyori had their chest patched up.<br>And Mashiro, who decided to lie down by Hiyori, had her stomach and legs wrapped.  
>I wouldn't admit out loud, but if it weren't for the 4th division, we'd probably look like in even more shit.<p>

"**Arigato, Unohana-san."**

Shinji said as he stood beside me.

Unohana stopped and turned her body just enough for her to see him.

"…**Why are you thanking me? There is no need to thank me for saving the life of an ally."**

I could hear Shinji scoffed at her remark.

"**We ain't your allies, moron…"**

He looked back down to Hiyori.

"…**is probably what Hiyori'd say…Arigato, Unohana."**

She gave him a soft smile of approval, before continuing her journey to her destination.  
>As her figure slowly disappeared from view, my mind wondered back at the shinigami who protected Mashiro from the arrancar.<br>I remembered the look on her face when she was impaled in the stomach and the blood continued to gush out.  
>When I arrived to her side to balance her, her deep blue eyes stared straight into me.<p>

"**Do you remember who I am?"**

_/Something about the way,  
><em>_Something about the way you look in my eyes/_

She whispered softly to me as she began to black out.  
>I wasn't sure if the question was for me or if she was just hallucinating.<p>

"**Who are you?"**

And just like that she fell limped into my arms.  
>I managed to catch both her and Mashiro, but I could've sworn I heard her call my name.<br>After that I brought the two to a blonde haired lieutenant who was healing two others.

"**Take care of them both. Especially her, she's losing a huge amount of blood."**

Was all I said before leaving the two in a barrier to continue my fight.  
>The last sight I remember clearly was a silver object shining from the shinigami's neck.<br>I shook my head, pushing aside my thoughts as the rest of the group began a conversation.

"**Who would've thought we'd end up fighting side by side with them again, huh."**

I heard Love stated as he stretched out his arms.

"**It was pretty fun. Especially showing them how big of a badass we really are after all those years."**

Shinji grinned beside me, as the rest of the group and myself couldn't help but smirk.

"**They've all changed over the past 120 years if you think about it."**

Rose said, reapplying the bandages on Love's arms after he tore it from stretching too far.

"**Hmph! Not all of them."**

Lisa scoffed with a tint of pink on her cheeks.  
>We all knew she was referring to the lazy womanizer of the 8th division taicho, Shunsui Kyoraku.<p>

"**That kid with the same tattoo as me has grown last time I saw him."**

I injected into the conversation.

"**Yeah, the one with the same perverted tattoo of you.  
>I hear he's the vice-captain of your division now."<strong>

Shinji smirked towards my direction, as I tried hard not to knock him out from the 'perverted' comment.  
>It just so happens that the kanji letter for six is in my name and my division was the ninth.<br>His smirk continued to grow as he continued on.

"**But the one I'm more surprised that changed last time I saw them was Amaya herself."**

Amaya…

My heart sank at the mentioned of her name.  
>The group knew that it was taboo to say that name in front of me.<br>Since the last time I saw her was the afternoon before I was exiled and used as Aizen's guinea pig for hallowfication.

Flashback – 120 Years Ago

"**Oi! Why are you walking away from me?!"**

I yelled at the infuriating woman in front of me.

"**Because baka-taicho you're being a pain in my ass."**

I heard her yell back as she quicken her pace, trying to head back to the 13th division.  
>The distance between us didn't last long as I shunpo-ed in front of her.<br>My 5"10 frame shadowing her 5"4 figure.  
>Her piercing blue eyes, lieutenant clothing, sandy brown braided hair, my longtime friend and crush:<br>Natsuki Amaya.

_/You make everything so damn easy,  
><em>_So easy that I don't got to worry about a thing/_

"**You're really irritating me y'know, Amaya. I don't like chasing you every single time."**

I rubbed my temple as she turned away from me.

"**Well, Kensei. If you weren't so moody all of a sudden when I just went to visit Shinji then maybe I wouldn't be walking away from you, ne?"**

I sighed from her answer.  
>Sometimes I wondered what she saw in him and not me.<br>I placed a hand on her shoulder, wiping the thought of envy I had for my other close friend.

"**That's cause you were bothering him when he should be doing captain work.  
>You know there's been a lot of propaganda happening at Rukongai with Shinigamis and even souls missing."<strong>

Her head snapped back to face me, anger shining in those blue eyes.  
>Yup, I fucked up and said something I will regret.<p>

"**And you don't think I don't know that?  
>Ukitake-taicho's been informing me on the status of it whenever you guys have your meeting.<br>Just because it may seem like I don't do my job Kensei, I am the lieutenant of division 13."**

And there's the rant of hers I was expecting.  
>However, as much as her rants could get, I couldn't help but smirk at the petite girl before me before hugging her.<p>

_/And baby when we touch,  
><em>_All I can see is the image of us/_

Her stubbornness was a trait of hers, which I've fallen in love with as strange as it sounds.  
>But I could never bring myself to tell her that to her face.<br>No matter how long we've known each other, I knew she saw me more like a brother figure.  
>For everyone that has known me, Muguruma Kensei, they knew I was a serious captain who's easily annoyed at the world and protected Amaya whenever there was trouble.<p>

"**I didn't mean it like that, Amaya.  
>It's just that whenever you're with him, the man doesn't get his shit done."<strong>

I could feel her moving around my grasp, freeing one of her hands before poking me on my stomach.

"**Is Mugu-baka jealous?"**

And cue my ego taking over, as I scoffed at her comment and released her from my hug.

"**Shut up Natsuki. Let's just go back to work."**

I turned and headed towards my division.

"**If only you knew."**

I whispered to myself, before the sound of her footsteps was not too far behind.

Back to the Present

"**You don't know do you, Kensei-chan?"**

I could hear the blonde bastard, not Rose, emphasizing and mocking my name.  
>I glared at him as the grin on his face widened.<p>

"**Kensei is baka! Baka!"**

The last person whom I didn't want in this conversation joined.  
>Stupid Mashiro.<br>We all turned to see her awake but lying down by Hiyori still.  
>If looks could kill, I probably would've ended up giving Mashiro a coma for a good day or so.<p>

"**You really are dense, hm?"**

Shinji continued.

"**Did it ever occur to you that she'd be present during this battle eventually.  
>She was after all Ukitake-san's fuku-taicho.<br>And all members of the Gotei 13 participated."**

If Amaya was here during the battle I would've caught her sandy brown hair immediately.  
>But there was no one present.<br>Nor did I capture that beauty mark she has on the right side of her forehead.  
>No, no one held the features that I faintly remembered of her, except for…<p>

"…**the heart shaped locket."**

I whispered to myself as the pieces finally fitted.  
>Although she sported black hair, the shinigami who I held in my arms, the one who stood in the way to protect Mashiro, was indeed Natsuki Amaya!<p>

"**Took you long enough, huh?"**

"**Kensei is baka! Baka!"**

The voices of the two idiots gloating at me soon muted as I stared at nothing, thinking about the past 120 years I've longed to see her once more.  
>The crazy woman I fell in love with since the Academy Days was in front of me, wearing the heart shaped locket I wish I was able to give to her in person.<p>

Flashback – 120 Years Ago. Night of the Hallow Attack

The sun was slowly approaching mid afternoon as sweat fell down my forehead.  
>I looked over at her as she was panting, sweating even worst than I was, and was taking a seat underneath one of the trees in my division.<br>She wouldn't have been this exhausted if she and Mashiro took the sparring seriously.  
>Watching their foolishness pissed me off to the point that I stepped in and decided to spar with her instead.<br>And as much as she bickered the shit out of me about it, the second I woke up Tachikaze, her attitude swung to a full 360.  
>Obviously, I was the clear winner, refusing to lose to a lieutenant of another division, especially in my home ground.<p>

_/Sitting by the ocean just before the dusk,  
><em>_Sipping on a juice box with sand between our toes/_

"**I expected more of a challenge from you Natsuki."**

I mocked, being formal with her as I took a seat beside her.

"**Stop calling me by my last name, baka-taicho!"**

I chuckled as she pouted my way.  
>Yup, I've definitely fallen for this girl.<p>

"**So, you remember what tomorrow is?"**

I asked, removing my shihakusho that was covered in both sweat and some blood.

"**The day you admit you're jealous I spend more time with Shinji?"**

_/This is the part when we say we're in love,  
><em>_And the part where we have our first kiss/_

She just really knows how to push my buttons.  
>I sent her a glare before hitting her on the head, just hard enough to send my message across.<p>

"**It was a joke baka!"**

"**It's your birthday tomorrow. I hope you remember that."**

She stopped rubbing the sore spot on her head, looked at me and smiled.  
>She's probably surprised that I remembered for once.<br>Well, truth be told, I've always remembered her birthday.  
>I just chose to say I didn't to watch her complain and get frustrated over me about it.<br>Sure, I've earned my bumps and bruises for the jokes, but regardless I didn't say it wasn't worth it.

"**I know that Kensei. I hope you aren't busy this year to spend it with me?"**

Pang.  
>Felt my heart ache for a second.<br>Ever since I became captain, which was centuries ago, I barely got a chance to spend her birthday together.  
>It was always either quick wishes or grabbing lunch together, never really enjoying the celebration.<br>But this year I wanted it to be different.  
>I subconsciously reached into my pocket and felt the small box.<br>The small box that held a heart-shaped locket that I planned on giving to her tomorrow.  
>The special thing about this locket was that implanted within the heart was some of my reiatsu.<br>Whenever I was far away on missions in the Human World, my reiatsu would glow, letting her know that I was alive and will come back soon.  
>It was also another way of showing her my true feelings for her.<br>Before I could answer her question, I see Heizo running towards us.

"**Taicho! Captain-Commander is sending us to investigate Rukongai.  
>There seems to be multiple disappearances happening right now."<strong>

Really, right now at a time like this?

"**Where are we to leave?"**

"**Tonight Taicho."**

_/But this ain't a movie, I know you can't come with me.  
><em>_You got your life, he better be treating you right/_

I looked from Heizo then to Amaya.  
>The look on her face dropped when she understood that once again I would not be able to be there with her.<br>I sent her a quick frown before looking back at my third seat.

"**Alrights, get me Tosen, Mashiro and everyone else needed.  
>We are to meet at the front of 9<strong>**th**** division in five minutes!"**

"**Hai!"**

Heizo shunpo-ed out from our view.  
>I rose to my feet and put my shihakusho back on.<br>I looked down at her and offered her a hand which she reluctantly accepted.  
>Re-adjusting both my haori and gloves, I could see the pain in her blue eyes.<br>I can't believe stupid Yamamoto's making me leave at an important time like this.  
>I sighed and cupped her face in my hand, tilting it enough for her to look at me; blue meets brown.<br>I couldn't help but feel utterly responsible for this yet again.

"**Sorry I couldn't spend more time right now.  
>But I promise I'll be back for your birthday at midnight."<strong>

I smiled at her as she hugged me, her fitting perfectly into my arms.

"**Just be careful Kensei. We've heard too many incidents about these disappearances.  
>I don't want to lose my close friend."<strong>

I nodded at her before I too shunpo-ed out to meet with the rest of my group.  
>As we began our journey to investigate, I turned back once more to my division, my home, where I left her under a tree, patiently awaiting for my return.<p>

Back to Present

"**Kensei!"**

I felt a jab to my gut causing me to start coughing up.  
>I looked to see Lisa, the one who punched me unexpectedly.<br>Her and the rest of the group looked at me with a questionable look.

"**Nani?! What was that for Lisa?"**

I demanded, recomposing and restraining myself from fighting back.

"**Are you gonna go to her or not?"**

Shinji questioned with a look of satisfaction.  
>Of course stupid blonde would be the one who got Lisa to punch me.<br>Stupid bastard, I'll get him.  
>I debated if I should go to her and tell her I remembered.<p>

"**You do know they're leaving as soon as everyone is patched up and can travel, ne?"**

Lisa mentioned.  
>As much as the thought of going to her and telling her what Aizen has done to us, I didn't know if she would forgive me after all those years or if she would be comfortable having me back in her life.<br>The idea of rejection second-guessing my thoughts.  
>To the point where, maybe, it's best if we left things the way they were.<br>Everyone's attention shifted as we heard a loud cough coming from Hiyori as she managed to sit herself up.

"**Dickhead! Just go there and tell her you love her!"**

She coughed.  
>Lisa ran to her side as both her and Mashiro kept the blonde girl balanced.<br>Although my ego has been hurt from that rude name she gave me, she did have a point.  
>I've waiting all these years to tell her and the night I was exiled, I was sure she found someone and forgotten about me.<br>Maybe this was Kami telling me otherwise.

"**Kensei, if you don't go and tell her now you'll regret it.  
>You've been moping about it the second Urahara announced that we were exiled and to never return.<br>If you don't tell her now, you're going to mope even more knowing she's there, alone, and once again you've yet to tell her."**

Rose pointed out.

I looked around at my so-called family for the past years.  
>Each of them reassuring and supporting me about this decision.<br>They knew I was going to bitch if I didn't act now and tell Amaya that I've loved her since time.  
>I nodded and gave them quick thanks before I ran to the direction Unohana-san left for.<p>

"**Amaya, please wait for me."**

Flashback – 120 Years Ago. Night of the Hallow Attack

_/Just tell me you don't love me,  
><em>_Tell me you don't feel the same way that I do/_

I sat inside my tent, images of her face when she heard I had an urgent mission to attend to.  
>I hoped for this mission to finish once the sun started to set but after Mashiro found ten identical uniforms lying on the floor together, I knew I had a long night ahead of me.<br>I sent my 4th seat Eishima Shinobu to contact central command about the current situation of shinigami's disappearing.  
>My 6th seat, Izaemon Todo, was sent to grab someone from the 12th squad's, under the supervision of Kisuke Urahara, incase the decomposition of souls was due to a disease.<br>My 3rd seat, Heizo Kasaki, managed to grab some tents from our base for us.  
>Meanwhile, Mashiro, 5th seat Kaname Tosen, and myself stayed back to prepare for any attacks that have caused this epidemic.<br>I exited my tent just in time to watch the shine of the sunset slowly disappear.  
>A sigh escaped my lips as the silent forest around us began to be filled with crickets and other animals of the night.<p>

"**Amaya…"**

I thought as my hand held tight onto the box inside my pocket.  
>Hopefully nothing happens tonight so I can return back in time to wish her happy birthday.<p>

Few Hours Later

Eishima and Kasaki returned not too long with their duties completed.  
>We set the tent up and decided to take turns with watch.<br>As of now, Eishima and Kaname are on guard, while Kasaki, Mashiro and myself wait for Todo's arrival.  
>I stare at the fire before me and once again my thoughts run back to Amaya.<br>As stressful and anxious this mission is doing to me, it was nice knowing I had someone to ease my thoughts.

_/ Tell me I don't make you smile like I do,_  
><em>When you walk in the room_

My thoughts were interrupted once Mashiro started snoring in her sleep and her shirt slowly becoming revealing.

"**Oi, you're shirt's coming open."**

I said as I tried to readjust her clothes.

No sooner after did her right hand automatically grabbed mine as she started giggling, still sound asleep mind you.

"**Kensei, you perv!"**

She giggled, as I struggled to remove her grasp from my hand.

Kami, even in her sleep was still annoying.  
>My bickering with my fellow comrade ended when a grunting sound came from outside the tent.<br>I quickly ran outside with Kasaki behind me.

"**What's wrong?"**

I looked down to see Eishima and Kaname, stabbed and on the floor.  
>I looked back up at the other figure in front of them.<br>Slowly the figure's head turned and I couldn't believe my eyes.

"**Todo…you're…"**

And then down Todo went as well.  
>My thoughts ran a thousand miles per second.<br>The enemy was still around.  
>I quickly ordered Kasaki into defensive position, ready to strike the second the enemy was seen.<p>

"**Mashiro! Mashiro!"**

I called out to the dumb lieutenant of mine who still somehow found a way to sleep through this mess.  
>Another grunt was heard.<br>I turned to see Kasaki as well going down after being slashed across his body.  
>The world around me was slowly engulfed into darkness and complete silence.<br>All I could hear was the sound of my heavy breathing, waiting for something to happen.

…And it did.

Slash.  
>Was all I heard as I looked down at myself to see a sword through my stomach.<br>And for once in my life, I was scared.  
>Scared of not being able to protect Seireitei, Soul Society, Rukongai, or my friends.<br>My friends…  
>Amaya…<br>I wouldn't be able to say bye or tell her that I loved her.

_/You're so, so hard to let go/_

Back to the Present

I arrived at the abandon hospital that members of the Gotei 13 were being treated in.  
>I say abandon since we were still in Fake Karakura Town, so no one was around but those who participated in battle.<br>I looked around the lobby and noticed members of the 4th division frantically running from one hallway to the next.  
>Some were shouting for medical supplies, others for more vacant rooms and such.<br>I managed to ask a member of the division that was leaning against the main desk for Natsuki Amaya's room.  
>After he nervously pointed to the hallway on my right and said she was staying in a recovering room, I quickly B-lined my way there, ignoring the last part of his sentence.<p>

_/Oh and this is the part when we say we're in love,  
><em>_And the part where we say it's forever.  
><em>_But this ain't a fantasy, I know you can't come with me/_

I straightened up my posture as I continued my way to her room.  
>A grin on my face slowly appearing as much as I didn't want it to, butterflies in my stomach, and my palms sweating from the excitement.<br>As I arrived to the tenth room on my left the boy told me, the door was a few centimeters open and I could hear her soft voice and laughter.  
>It was her all right.<br>Just as I was about to knock on the door, I heard another voice, a more masculine one, inside with here.  
>I peeked inside and my eyes shot wide open.<p>

_/You got your life, he better be treating you right.  
><em>_You got your life, he better be treating you right/_

Flashback – 120 Years Ago. Hours Before the Attack

The walk to Rukongai would've been amazing if it weren't for Mashiro again to complain and bitch about us investigating.  
>We sent ten of our members to investigate the disappearances, but it's been hours since we've last heard from them.<br>So Yamamoto decided to send my squad and I to check it out.

"**We should wait until we hear from them!  
>You're a hot-head, Kensei! And a dummy!"<strong>

I continued to block out the voice of my lieutenant.  
>It wasn't long until that method didn't work.<p>

"**I don't wanna, I don't wanna! Kensei's so stupid!"**

Before I knew it, I was being held back by both Kasaki and Eishima.

"**Taicho, please calm down!"**

"**You know she's always like this!"**

"**When on earth did I even tell you to come with us?"**

I rubbed my temple, trying to ease my breathing and anger.

"**We don't need you here. Go back home, take a shit, and go to bed!"**

I finished, turning my back from her.

"**I'm your fuku-taicho, so I have to go with you! Didn't you know that?  
>Maybe you're too stupid, Kensei. Stupid!"<strong>

My sanity couldn't take it anymore as I once again attempted to launch myself at Mashiro for her stupidness.  
>Thank Kami this time all four of my seated officers held me back.<p>

"**I hate this! I'm hungry! I wanna eat rice cakes with ground sesame on top!"**

We stared as my so-called vice-captain began rolling on the floor, crying like a complete imbecile.

"**What should we do taicho?"**

I removed myself from my men's grasp and continued to walk.

"**Just ignore her."**

Not far away, we spotted three boys, frozen in shock of a huge giraffe-looking hallow.  
>Around them were ripped clothing that must've belonged to others.<br>The hallow began chasing them, as the boy in purple commanded his friends to flee.  
>He was then captured by the hallow.<p>

"**Let's go."**

I ordered my men as they launched themselves towards the beast.  
>Although each sliced the beast pretty deep, it still continued to hold onto the boy.<br>I took my position up front and managed to slice it's tentacle in half, freeing the boy.

"**Pull back, guys!"**

They retreated behind me as I decided to finish off the job with ease.  
>With my zanpakuto at hand, I prepared to end the hallow, still wondering where in the world it came from.<p>

"**Send 'em flyin' – Tachikaze!"**

Within a matter of seconds, the hallow was defeated.  
>I looked around to see the kid down on his knees crying.<p>

"**Hey, why are you crying? You're still alive, so be happy."**

I commanded him.  
>Tears continued to fall down his face, if not even harder.<br>The thought that came to mind was Amaya suggesting for me to smile more and be more approachable.  
>I figured now would be a good time, considering what this child probably saw at his age.<p>

"**Smile!"**

I told him, both my mouth and eye twitching due to my effort of making a smile.

"**Take it easy, taicho."**

I could hear Eishima beside me, a look of both worry and fear plastered on his face.  
>I shook off the smile and walked towards the boy.<p>

"**What's your name?"**

"**H-Hisagi Shuuhei."**

Back to the Present

I stared as the kid I saved at the time was there with the girl of my dreams, comforting her and making her smile.  
>I couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal.<br>She was wearing the typical hospital gown, bandages on her left arm and probably on her stomach from the injury the arrancar gave her.  
>Her black locks flowing down her back and shoulder and the heart locket clearly visible from her neck.<br>By her bedside, I see him.  
>Spikey hair, a line going from one end of his cheek to the bridge of his nose, and the '69' tattooed on his cheek.<br>My hands clenched into a fist as I watched the sight before me.

_/This hurts so much to know that you're with someone else  
><em>_When you should be with me/_

"**Amaya-chan, I was meaning to tell you something."**

I hear Shuuhei say.

She looked at him with pure innocence in her eyes as she waited for him to continue.

"**During the battle with Aizen, when I saw you getting impaled by that arrancar, I couldn't wipe that image off my mind.  
>I kept thinking you were going to die there and then…<br>And well, when I found out that you were alive I knew I had to see you."**

He grabbed her hands into his.

"**If this situation were to happen again and I were to lose you, I'll hate myself."**

"**What are you saying Shuuhei?"**

She gave him a look of worriedness.  
>As though she was afraid he was going to die any second now.<p>

"**For the past years that you've came back and joined my division, I've fallen for you Amaya.  
>I love you."<strong>

_/It's just hard to accept that I can't be around.  
><em>_He better be treating you good/_

Crack.  
>If my hand wasn't supporting my entire weight on the wall, I would've fallen into the room.<br>I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  
>He loves her too.<br>And he managed to tell her, something I couldn't do in the past centuries I've had with her.  
>I couldn't stay here any longer.<br>For once I swore I could feel tears coming out.  
>I quickly left the hallway and shunpo-ed out of the hospital back to what I called home.<p>

"**I fucked up, big time."**

Tears fell from my face from the amount of pain in my heart.  
>If Aizen were still here, I'd beat the shit out of him for taking away the time I could've had with her.<br>Because of him, I lost the one person I truly cared and had emotions for.  
>I waited 120 years for her and I lost her.<p>

Flashback – 120 Years Ago. Arriving at Karakura Town

I awoken up in an abandon convenience store with Shinji and six others which consisted of captains and lieutenants.

"**Where are we? What happened?"**

Hiyori asked looking lost just like the rest of us.

"**Perhaps I can explain."**

Came a voice from the shadows.  
>Out stepped Urahara-san, Tessai-san and Yoruichi-san.<p>

After Urahara explained the situation about how Aizen used us as Hallow experiments and how we were exiled from Seireitei I couldn't believe it.  
>We now have to live here in the Human World, start anew, avoid being caught and trying to control our inner hallows.<br>I reached into my pocket and felt nothing.  
>The box. The locket. Amaya.<br>I panicked, wondering where my gift for her went.  
>Although it may be impossible to give it to her, now that I was banned from seeing her.<br>I felt a hand on my shoulder as I turned to see Yoruichi-san give me a faint smile.

"**I left it by her bedside before we left. She will see it when she wakes."**

I gave her my thanks as she left to speak to Urahara about training us with our hallows.

_/I'm not Einstein but I know a sign when I see one.  
><em>_And I know you love me too,  
><em>_And I know you love me too…/_

I concentrated on my reiatsu in hopes she would notice the locket glow.  
>I soon felt a tap on my shoulder and a cough.<br>It was Shinji.

"**I know you're doing that to reassure her you're alive Kensei, but Urahara suggests we get into our gigai to hide our reiatsu from any shinigamis."**

I sighed as he gave me my gigai.  
>I stared at the empty shell before me.<br>How long will I have to wear this before she notices I'm alive?  
>Will that time ever come?<br>I look out at one of the windows in this building and noticed the sun slowly rising.  
>She'll be awake eventually come to the 9th division looking for me.<br>She'll think I'm dead, but I'm not.  
>And I want her to know that...<br>But for now, I have to wait.

_/And this is the part when we say we're in love,  
><em>_And the part where we have our first kiss/_

Back to the Present

I stepped into the empty building; my home for the past centuries.  
>I noticed everyone was back to his or her usual selves.<br>Rose and Love talking and reading JUMP, Lisa reading her adult books, Mashiro lying on the couch, Hachi cooking dinner, Hiyori sitting by Mashiro, and Shinji waiting by the entrance.

"**So did you tell her, baka?"**

I wasn't in the mood to answer him, as I brushed past him into the living room.  
>Right now the last thing I wanted to talk about was the girl who got away.<p>

"**Oi! Kensei! What's up?"**

This captured the attention of everyone else, as they looked at me for an answer.  
>I glance at each of them before grunting and making my way to my room.<p>

_/But this ain't a movie, I know you can't come with me.  
><em>_You got your life, he better be treating you good…so good…/_

I slammed the door shut as I took a seat on my bed.  
>Head in my hands, I finally allowed the bottled up emotions come out: Anger, pain, and sorrow.<br>I couldn't understand how I could feel all of this at once.  
>I looked up at the photo on my bedside table: it was a picture of her and I back in the Academy Days: My arm around her waist grinning and her hugging me with a huge smile on her face.<br>It was the day that both of us were recruited to be apart of the Gotei 13.  
>My fondest memory I had with her.<p>

_/But this ain't a movie, I know you can't come with me.  
><em>_You got your life, he better be treating you good…so good…/_

I climbed out of my window and sat on the rooftop, waiting for Hachi to announce dinner was ready.  
>I stared at the photo in my hand once more, before finally accepting that maybe it was for the best.<br>Maybe now I can move on and she can too.

"**Kensei-chan! Dinner's ready!"**

Mashiro called out from outside my room door.

Just as I was about to go back inside, I took one more glance at the hospital not far from us and after 120 years, tapped enough reiatsu for her to possibly notice.

_/You got your life, he better be treating you…  
><em>_Treating you right…/_

**"Goodnight, Amaya."**

/_Treating you right….  
><em>_Treating you right…/_

* * *

><p>One more shot left! :)<p> 


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